Week 3 Prompt: (9) Conversation with my self ~ Quite literally!''

So five days ago I decided it's time to kick the habit and purchased an electronic cigarette.  I smoke my last butt Monday evening around 8 p.m.; picked up my electronic cig around 5 p.m. and batteries are charging...

Me: "Wow, this sucks!  I really enjoy my before bed cigarette!"

My conscience:  "Yup, it will be good for you to quit.  You were an idiot to start again after quitting for 8 years!"

Me (as I use my e-cig) "Well, it's not so bad.  I don't have to go outside and freeze my ass off, I don't stink and it tastes pretty good."

I wake up in the morning, have a few drags off the e-cig and jump in the shower to get ready for school.

Me: "Shit!  What's wrong with this thing?!  It's not working.  Oh shit, fuck!"

Conscience: "Calm down woman!  You have time.  Drive over to the smoke shop and talk to the owner, maybe he can help you out!"

I walk into the store and the owner greets me.

Me: "I haven't killed anyone yet, but I'm going to if I can't get this thing to work!"

Store owner laughs and said: "Maybe it's the cautomizer, no, guess not.  That's weird.  Let me check that batteries.  There you go."

Me thinking silently: " G~I~V~E  IT BACK....AND NOBODY GETS HURT!!!!!!!!"

Conscience: "Chill a minute!  Let him put it back together!"

Back to the car and on my merry way to school.

Me: "Holy shit!  I don't know if I can do this.  I need a friggin' cigarette!"

Conscience: "It's really not that bad, it is better for you!  Hell, your working out, eating healthy, hitting the sauna to eliminate toxins.  What the hell do you want to smoke for?  It stinks and isn't good for your health!"

Me: "Yup!  I know!  Errrrrrrrrrrrrr!  This sucks!"

The days goes along well, no one has been killed or even wounded at this point.  Then about 5 p.m.

Me: "What the hell?!  Ugh!  These fucken batteries!  I need a friggin' cigarette! Holy shit!  I don't know if I can do this!"

Conscience: "Just charge the damn batteries!  You will be fine! B~R~E~A~T~H~E!!!!!!!"

Me: "Yeah, ok!"

Day 3 and Day 4 run pretty smoothly, a couple little bumps but no biggie, no cigarettes.  Day 5 arrives.

Me: "I better charge these batteries.  I'm going to be gone all day.  If the batteries die, it's NOT going to be good!"

Driving home, the batteries are on their way out without warning!

Me: "Holy shit!  I don't know about this."

Conscience:  "Your doing well!  Five days, don't screw it up now!  You just told your father you quit and you promised him last summer when he had a heart attack and 6 bypasses!  Don't stop now!  Go buy some spare batteries and keep the extras charged!"

Me:  "Good idea."

7:30 pm., day 5.

Me: "Wish those spare batteries were ready!  These batteries are dead again!"

Conscience:  "Get over it!  Learn a little patience would you?!  Holy hell!  That's probably why you smoke in the first place!  No patience!  You're going to drive me (conscience) to smoke!"

Me: "Aha, yup, if I had a little more patience with myself, it would be much easier..."

...to be continued...


(not really but it sounded good :)